Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
