I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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