this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
