Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
