Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
