hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
