If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
