i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You're like the curious george of whores
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
