i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I think i got beer on your cat.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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