trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
