I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
