So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
