so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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