if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize