5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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