he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
