He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize