Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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