Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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