it was like his penis was on wheels.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize