Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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