He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
