You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
