At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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