Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
