I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
