Plan B is the new Plan A
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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