I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
