i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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