I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She's JV to your varsity
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Alive.
So much puke
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
