im drinking this country out of the recession.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
