I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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