They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
