smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
