im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize