I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
