If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
This house was built for laser tag.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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