the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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