i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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