I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize