Having a random hookup so left but love u
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sext me about skeletons
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
