I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize