I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
