I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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