i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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