only you would photoshop your dick
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
