Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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