Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
