Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Life without a bra equals bliss.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
