Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
