Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
