Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
