Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
