I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You can't just leave with hair like that
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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