if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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