peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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