I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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