actually, I'm a sock model
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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