So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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