The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
