It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
