So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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