office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
