she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Can Purell be used as lube?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
they're like a gay fantastic four
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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