Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she told me i tasted like america
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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