Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
