Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Randomize
