You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Umm I'm too high to move.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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