I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
