The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
